To encourage passion in your children, leave them alone
One thing I have always hoped for my kids is that they find an activity that they enjoy doing so much that it becomes a passion for them. Since I never really knew how to go about encouraging them to find an activity without overwhelming them, I just left it alone. While I was trying to figure out how to introduce my seven year old son to an interesting activity like maybe martial arts, it seems he found something he loves all by himself: art. In fact, he loves it so much that from the time he gets home from school to the time he goes to bed, he’s drawing, cutting, or pasting something. Unbeknownst to me, I stumbled upon the secret to helping kids find their passion. According to an article in Live Science, the best thing parents can do to help their kids develop a passion for something it to leave them alone:
Parents who want their children to discover a passion for music, sports, or other hobbies should follow a simple plan: Don’t pressure them.
By allowing kids to explore activities on their own, parents not only help children pinpoint the pursuit that fits them best, but they can also prevent young minds from obsessing over an activity, a new study finds.
“Passion comes from a special fit between an activity and a person,” said Geneviève Mageau, a psychology professor at the University of Montreal. “You can’t force that fit; it has to be found.”
The article is based upon a study that found that for a child to really develop a passion for something he must have a sense of autonomy, which means that if a girl decides to take ballet, it’s because she has chosen it for her own reasons and enjoyment, not her parents’s desire to live vicariously through her.
That seems to be what has happened with Little Man. Only one year ago, he wasn’t much interested in drawing, coloring, or painting at all, so I never really pushed it. However, this year, his interest in art has really blossomed. If he still enjoys it my husband and I may enroll him in an art class over the summer, if he’s interested, of course.
Jillian is the same way! I bet LM will love doing art in the sunroom when it gets a little warmer. Feb., March and April were prime craft time in there. The sun makes it so warm but it’s usually not warm enough to be outside. He will love it!
Comment by Karin — February 10, 2010 @ 10:08 am
I had the exact opposite extreme growing up. My parents never pushed me to do anything. They also never encouraged me to explore my talents or interests. I remember wanting so badly to take ballet lessons, but they would never let me do it. I think parents need to try and find a good balance to let their children explore their talents and abilities and allow them the opportunity to experience them.
Comment by Tilly — February 12, 2010 @ 1:24 pm