Comments on: Wanted: advice on calming bedtime fears

By: Kim

Kim — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 02:06:37 +0000

Ever since I got a little tough with her and told her she was not allowed to keep the entire family up at night, she’s been quiet and has fallen asleep quickly.

By: Ann

Ann — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:25:09 +0000

Hey Kim: You are, in my opinion, doing the right thing. Lizzie pulled this on me at first too. I read the books, kissed her goodnite, as you do, left the room, and BAM! the games began. I did exactly what you did….LEFT. You know she isn’t going to die in there but she sure is smart enough to know what to do to get Mommy back. Go somewhere where you can’t hear her. She’ll do just what she did for you….calm down and go to sleep. Kids are sooooo smart!

By: Karin

Karin — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:22:46 +0000

Praying usually works for my kids, too. They relax and calm down. Quite a few of my kids have experienced this sudden fear at age 4 or 5. Not sure why…

By: janelle

janelle — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:00:18 +0000

Hey Kim, Neither of my children are consistant cryers but there are times. spencer does have a night light which helps. But when we have nightmares I go with three things. 1- prayer, that that child will know that God is always watching over them, that God would guard their hearts and minds an protect them. I ask my children to pray along, and eventhough LMT can’t speak well, God will know her heart, and understand every word. 2 – read the Bible, Psalms is amazingly comforting, I stick with psalms of praise (like 100 – 105) pick sections that speak of Gods love and protection. 3- Beethoven, seriously spencer loves moonlight sonata, but most of LvB’s songs are very methodical and therefore quite calming. Hope this helps.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:58:01 +0000

Sarah, what a really sweet idea. I should do that tonight. I bet that would calm and relax her well.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:57:34 +0000

That’s a really good idea, Kim. I will probably do something similar tonight where I sit on her beanbag again and read for a few minutes until she’s settled in. That seemed to work last night. She cried when I left, but not for long.

By: Kim H.

Kim H. — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:22:37 +0000

Oh Kim, you are doing great! It’s so hard. I probably have no advice since I cave and let Molly climb in with us. And after Leo being gone for nine months, I let her sleep with me. I know. So bad!

I did see this whole episode on Super Nanny (don’t laugh!) about a kid that wouldn’t stay in his room. She suggested the parent lie on the floor for the first couple nights until the child is asleep. Then go from that to sitting on a little chair next to their bed for a few nights. For this particular kid, it worked and the kid got the idea.

She might just be having reservations — especially since that movie is a bit scarry. Is her window completely covered? I’d make the window as dark as possible and then give her a pretty nightlight. You’re definitely on the right track!

Hang in there! It’ll get better.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:11:32 +0000

I’m only a step-mom, but what has worked for me when one of the boys is scared is singing the song “Jesus Loves Me”…it’s soothing it seems to children (my mom also did this for me:), and then we would say a prayer. I will start out the prayer and then ask them to add to it. During school even though it has been only 1st grade stuff even being scared of a spelling test has kept my youngest step-son up…as soon as we pray he seems at peace. My other step-son is scared of storms…we pray about that as well. It does seem to help. You can actually see their bodies relax. I do think you did the right thing about not going in to her her room though overall. I know we always want to protect and make “our babies” feel safe and comfortable, but going in doesn’t solve the issue because they will just rely on us only and not ultimately help them move past their fears. It might not happen overnight, but I do know it will work! You’re doing great!